Week 1: Meet 5 new eligible men

While meeting random strangers can be a bit awkward, it’s even harder not to act like a desperate stalker girl who needs to meet her quota. Overall it was a fun experience. I’m realizing that I will need to write more than once a week, there is way too much material.

Here a recap of my week below;

I met a new guy at church last week. Here is something crazy that happened. When I said hello, he said hello back!! Shocking I know!! This is something that I think more of us single women could do, actually say hello to guys around us. I’ve heard women tell me “what if they’re married, or I’m not interested”? These are not good reasons not to be friendly. With a hello you're not committing adultery plus they could be new and it’s a great way to make someone feel comfortable and welcome.

The grocery store is a great place to meet people. Here are some helpful hints to know if someone is available. If a guy has a grocery list, he is NOT single! What single guy has a grocery list? If a guy has a full cart of groceries he is NOT single! There are not to many single guys who buy enough groceries to last a month. This point is moot if it’s a cart full of beer; that guy would in fact be single.  Here is another helpful tip, if you are talking to a guy and his girlfriend comes over (it happened) don’t just walk away; awkward! This is another good opportunity to practice friendliness.

I accepted invitations to everything and found myself at Whole Foods and coffee shops everyday, all this while looking pretty so some potential guy would be interested in me, I’m exhausted!!

Thinking about meeting five single guys consumed my thoughts. I started to feel like a sales person trying to sell me and when the customer wasn’t interested I started to place my value in what a total stranger, a mere man thought of me. The bible talks about where our value lies. Here are just a few verses.

I am given God's glorious grace lavishly and without restriction (Ephesians 1:5,8)

I am in Him (Ephesians 1:7; 1 Corinthians 1:30)

I have redemption (Ephesians 1:8)

I am forgiven (Ephesians 1:8; Colossians 1:14)

I have purpose (Ephesians 1:9 & 3:11)

I have hope (Ephesians 1:12)

I am included (Ephesians 1:13)

When focusing on meeting single men I started to forget my identity, I was thinking constantly of my appearance and witty charm, not in cultivating my relationship with Jesus. Then when someone didn't respond to me I felt crushed. I have value because I am the daughter of the King, period! Praise be to God!! 

 Proverbs 31:30 states “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

Journey begins

Nothing compares with the finding of true love; because once you do your heart is complete.

 -anonymous

I've been dating since I was 13 years old. This includes 2 serious boyfriends, and more than a few not so serious. I’m a relatively attractive and social person so I couldn’t figure out why none of these seemingly good relationships ever turned into something more.   

When I was 19 my life and heart where radically changed by Jesus. If I was honest I thought that this meant that God was obligated to give me a husband. Ha! That was a great lie that I believed for a long time (more of that later). Year after year went by, and I started to wonder, what was I doing wrong?

When I turned 27 People started asking if I wanted to get married. Unsolicited advice was given on how to meet someone, and their thoughts on why I was single. I’d like to take a minute to give you some of my favorite, not helpful pieces of advice.

·      Just stop thinking about it.

·      Maybe you should pray harder

·      Join a group/activity/club to meet more people

·      Put yourself out there (still don’t really know what this means)

·      Have you tried online dating?

·      If you just lost 20 pounds a guy would be able to see how wonderful you truly are.

·      Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re next!

·      Maybe you should try another church

If you’re single I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of advice, and for that I’m truly sorry. Questioning why you’re not married implies lack.  Psalms 84:11 says “No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly”. This does not imply that you are single because you failed God, or that you have not “walked uprightly” plenty of sinful, undeserving people get married. If you know and accept Jesus, His death, burial, and resurrection has made you deserving of all God’s grace. So, where does this leave us? Is God really faithful and sovereign in our lives? Yes, He really is faithful and sovereign.  

Isaiah 46:10-11 “My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose’…I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it”. 

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

I’ll share more during this year about God’s faithfulness and grace. Now let’s talk about another reason for this blog. What would happen if I actually took the advice that people give? I know it will be funny and sometimes awkward, but would it actually work? 

Join me each week over the next year. I will take “good advice” given to singles and write about what happens. I’ll share the real, awkward and sometimes exciting experiences. If you’ve received or heard of advice that you want me to try please give me some suggestions. This is going to be fun..

Week one: Meet five new people this week.